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I love how Bmore club takes ahold of skinny peoples waist! They start gyrating uncontrollably, shaking imaginary asses and other missing ingredients for making grinding worth while. Just messing, skin doesn’t need fat under it to feel good I suppose.

So though I’ve had less than hype words to spill over the whole Bmore club thing in the past, fuck, I’ve matured and get it now. After seeing Claire Hux outside of Baltimore, I realized it’s not necessarily the offensive lyrics that irk me…I just feel when you take the ghetto out of Bmore club what you really have is just a bunch of skinny people doing shit.  

***side note…we’re moving on up, by the end of the week we’ll unfold part of the master plan so come back Thursday, Friday, etc…and not only was this post inspired by Claire Hux, this tee, please note…they were playing digable planets and shit :

digweed

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whartposter2009

Like a prostitute, you never know what you’re going to get with it, but it wasn’t worth the risk this time. So I guess this post could really be titled Whartscape/Artscape 2008: Philly, Titties & Beats 2009:

chilling in front of some ovaries in the 08

chilling in front of some ovaries in the 08

my favorite shitty band of 08

my favorite shitty band of 08

love at first sight it was.

love at first sight it was.

Despite Yoon’s aversion:

The Death Set is playing on thursday not too far from me. Just thought you might want to know. You’ll probably have to go alone cause that last time I went to the Ottobar I saw girls licking girls and boys licking boys, a big black dildo, and someone’s cooch was displayed for everyone to see. I’ve developed an aversion to it now.(Yoon Yoon)

I hopped on the greyhound bus to Baltimore to check out The Death Set:

They were rocking out with Ninjasonik:

I ended up bent in Philly and miss 2 buses, so missed the show. I guess I could have drove but the greyhound to Bmore is alot like Soul Plane…In the regards where comments such as “It’s my birthday, I’m about to get my eyelashes on and popping”, are standard fare…It’s alot of fun if you’re comfortable. Much like the monthly Deep Sugar party in Baltimore. Deep Sugar is an oldschool, warehouse-style jam where the house heads, old heads, scenesters, gays, thugs, addicts, and the occasional prostitute come together for dope music and performances. Before the party though, Yoon Yoon took me to some swanky restaurant where the dj was learned with Funk 45’s. I put my elbow on the table and knocked back jack n cokes with what Yoon calls din din.

din din

And the party:

deep-sugar-flyer

bmore-party

bmore-party

bmore-party

down ass chicks!

bmore-party

bmore-party

bmore-party

N’ Dea Davenport (Brand New Heavies) was next level:

bmore-party

ndea davenport

#1 couple in Baltimore for sure (real and chill):

bmore-party-peoples

bmore-party-peeps

bmore-party

note…this isn’t going to be another one of those party blogs, mainly because my motivation to take nice fotos declines after each drink…see above.

Not in a race to be the coolest city, Baltimore is what it is and totally unapologetic about it. And I can dig it. The city’s creative vibe is just as thick as its grime and grit. It feels like one of those cities that coerces you to get a little dirty to get down…Think Spank Rock lyrics, dodging bullets to hit an ill party, and an urban canvas with styles upon styles of graffiti.

Circa 2000,  actually the first time I ever experienced the whole bombing thing on a non-toy level, I was at a house party and this dude from Baltimore with a “need for speed” look in his eyes asked me had I ever tried angel dust. Candidlythe only way I know how“the drugs” seem mind blowing and a live time, but I prefer to be high on life and other stuff (I’m not preachy, I said other stuff, breathe easy mr. dope man). Anyways, so I didn’t go coo coo for angel dust that night but I did take off with the cat to go bomb North Philly.

north-philly-throw-up

Sorry, kinda, for the shitty photo…I was young and stupid. The dude turned out to be a writer from Bmore by the name of KRISP with the very relevant, kos crew. (note…you had to walk across the ledge of the not only dilapidated but gutted white building to get up in the nook…the things guys do to score). Which is why the McGinley photo of Dash resonates with me.

Dash Snow

And why Yoon Yoon takes me to all the spots whenever I’m running through Baltimore…And for emphasis, the creative vibe in Baltimore is thick.

yoon is a hobo shoot yoon

hobo

spot 1

spot some

yo

bmore-art

hobo2

hobo and dog

I dig BAAL:

BAAL

sinistr

style-goes-hard

 LOKI

LOKIER

runss

And remember the ad www.5thandprospect.com ? Of course you do…here’s the Believe scene.

be

note…the bad fotos were shot by me, the good fotos by yoon yoon; together we’re balanced. and remember in this bleak economy, don’t shy away from diversifying your skillspeep all avenues.  

yoon won

One morning I woke up and found my favorite pigeon, Julius, had died I was devastated and was gonna use his crate as my stickball bat to honor him. I left the crate on my stoop and went in to get something and I returned to see the sanitation man put the crate into the crusher. I rushed him and caught him flush on the temple with a titanic right hand he was out cold, convulsing on the floor like a infantile retard. (Mike Tyson, of course)

“Iron Mike” is the motherfucking man…Oh so he’s fat now and eats children? So what, Tyra Banks still looks delicious and amazing. Not that Tyson looks delicious but I have no problem saying, even though he is conspicuously crazy, in my mind he will always remain as indestructible as he was on Punch Out (this game might separate the young from the old, the Little Macs from the Midget Macs).

And though his cover looks like it reads “The Complete Idiots Guide to Life”, I truly think Tyson is a genius. Truly, not in any way similar to Shaquille O’neil’s media portrayed intelligence aka “The Big Aristotle”. Kind of in the same vein, Tyson is the ultimate Greek Tragedy, as depicted in his soon to be released documentary “Tyson”. And just in case you’re thinking something shitty along the lines of the Biggie Smalls biopic “Notorious”, supposedly, from Cannes to Sundance the doc electrified and received mad artistic recognition. Even the trailer looks thriller.

Also stay tuned this week for posts on a how it’s possible a trip to Baltimore can make someone who never smiles…look like this:

write right

 

 

This crackhead, no really…scabby face and everything, was sitting next to me on the greyhound talking extra zany shit. When I woke up in Baltimore, she had her socks and shoes off and her crack head laying on my shoulder. Later on I met up with Yoon and…

there was no blood this time

there was no blood this time

mayfair1

chiefrocker

chiefrocker

Baltimore beats eh? Personally: coalescing Sir Mix-A-Lot’s ”Put em on the glass” and that one Daft Punk track that goes like boom boom boom is annoying. Fortunately: there is so much more soulful music running through Bmore that doesn’t require humping a chick offbeat in club that would have once been considered the happy hardcore room.

stopped in a shop and came out with some spaced out funk by the headhunters
stopped in a shop and came out with some spaced out funk by the headhunters owned by someone named tony.

Again, Baltimore isn’t exactly Art Basel (interesting bit about that here) but whenever I attend the monthly Deep Sugar jam its pretty apparent I’m experiencing one of those Jimmy Hendrix moments. I’m never the guy at a party shooting people, so you’re going to have to take  my word for it. 

deep-sugar1

Next month they’re bringing in a good bit of peoples from the now defunct Sheltar. Speaking of New York, I came across Fifty in the lab during my trip.

mlab4

mlab2

Story goes something like…one of my friends is a scientist trying to crack a code for breast cancer so being the huge fan that I am, I decided to stop by and I see how I could help. I couldn’t so we left for the ”World Famous” Lexington Market to get some food. Shit was huge and mad ghetto like the chicken gizzards that were being served in at least 2 out of 3 booths. While I was walking around bugging out, my scientist friend caught a glimpse of 50 cents dressed in lab coat cooking up some vitamin water and she geeked.

dr-curtis

At first I thought lame, but when I saw the bigger picture: A health store is using 50 and a flipped concept of au naturale-to get some gizzard eating subsect of an urban demographic to buy a few vitamins. Brilliant. kinda.

buffalo

thc

Baltimore does bipolar like no other rich kid I know. The ebbs and flows are perfect and will be amazingly good for when you’re old and you need a convoluted story to share. At the end of every decayed block is the likelyhood of the best time of your life followed by death or in most cases, another seedy block. But if given the choice, there is no other place that I would have rather spent the past 3 days. And for 3 days and 2 & 1/2  nights I wore the same Hips and Hair  t shirt because it always looks fresh.

hipsnhair-look

If I can get some sleep and eventually my hand to stop shaking, I’ll ease into the rest of why Bmore is a must do and a microcosm for the best and worst of times. And if that only makes sense with no sleep…”Saying sorry is for sorry people”(Thanks Daniella for that one)